Tests of stamina

Today was the 18 miler.
Five weeks before 26.2.
I remember the 18 milers
as tests of stamina
and pacing.
One year I went out too fast
in an 18-mile race and was passed
at mid-point by those whom I had passed earlier.
Damn!
Another year, I got to 18 in a marathon
and my legs cramped up. I thought about dropping out,
but I'm not the type who drops out.
Gels, water, sports drinks, and banana bites
got me to the finish line,
where I stumbled again as I threw up my hands
in a victory salute.
Today was training.
It was sunny but cold,
head winds at times,
hills I hadn't planned to encounter --
the result of sudden, whimsical changes of route.
An achy right heel, chafing around the breastbones,
and a stiff neck accompanied me.
We took it slow, walked when necessary,
and generally had fun.
Yet at mile 17,
I had to remember, what is the reason for doing this ...
again?what the long run was really about.